blended families

TIK TOK, CONTEMPT, and the EX

TIK TOK or better known as BEELZEBUB is touted as a fun music app where you can learn dance routines. If you are a parent with young children, please note that TIK TOK is harmful. It isn’t just a cute app. My husband’s ex-wife has been held in contempt for not supervising their daughter on the app.

Back in January of 2019, we brought to the court’s attention our concern for an 8-year-old to have unfettered access to TIk TOK. The court threw in a half-assed ruling that the mom has to be in the room and keep the password so the minor child doesn’t have unsupervised access. Well, a few months later, my 17-year-old daughter told me and my husband that his daughter (we will call P) has been posting inappropriate videos on TIK TOK. The one she was showing us was P in a leotard singing CANNIBAL by Keisha…moving her hands near her privates talking about sucking your bleep…yes the lyrics are teeth, but the dance alludes to something else. My daughter gave us access to her account so that we could see what P was doing. OMG. Between August and April, little P posted more than 1200 TIK TOK videos, many of which were so inappropriate, they brought us to tears. The foul language, the outfits, seductive dancing, implied suicide and murder, and drug paraphernalia was the subject of many of P’s videos. There is one video in particular where P is crying and telling her TIK TOK fans that she’s been bullied and hated on TIK TOK. Meanwhile, mom testified in court that she supervised all the videos and she was in most of them. We saw her in two…

This is taken directly from the judge’s order.

The Court finds that the Defendant is not a credible witness and there is a more serious problem as to the judgment of the Defendant as the custodial parent of a nine-year-old child if Defendant is in the room while the child is making a multitude of Tik Tok videos, many of them inappropriate for a child of nine years. Many of the Tik Tok recordings were set to music not at all appropriate for a minor child. Many of the Tik Tok recordings made by the child depicted the minor child suggestively wearing inappropriate clothing and dancing.
The Plaintiff asked the Court to change custody based on this lack of judgment finding by the Court but the Court declines to do so at this time. However, the Court admonishes the Defendant that if the Defendant continues to ignore orders of the Court, the Court may reconsider this request.”

There were grown men following P. She was following very mature folks, sometimes wearing her elementary school shirt, and to make matters worse, her account was public.


Fast forward to summer break where P stays with us. She lives in another state. Because of the Pandemic, there was a Zoom hearing for the contempt charge (among other issues not relevant here-but for a later date). P was used to being on her phone all day without supervision. She got here and her dad took her phone and we attempted to do age-appropriate activities. If you don’t think that internet addiction is real, please think again.
During the hearing, P’s mom said the videos were appropriate to the judge’s (who is a former prosecutor) dismay and frustration. We did create a montage of the videos that were the most damning. See, my husband asked R (ex-wife) to take P off of all age-inappropriate apps months before we found the TIK TOK videos. R ignored him allowing P to have three Snapchat accounts. Of course, Snapchat is another issue all unto itself. (Mom let P lie about her age to get on Snapchat. That’s cool…right?) This is probably the first ruling regarding unsupervised internet access of a minor child because we’ve researched and there’s nothing.
When my husband’s summer visitation ended, he couldn’t fly P back on the specified day because we were all quarantined with COVID. Mom called the sheriff to lock up my husband for not releasing P as per the parenting plan. The sheriff called my husband to make sure we weren’t kidnapping P…I guess. We called attorneys and the attorneys called the judge. WHY must things get this bad? R is willing to risk other people’s health and her own as a nurse to f- her ex over? So, mom decided that it was a great idea to drive here (9 hours) to pick up P who is COVID-19 positive to quarantine at their house. Really? Are you f-ing kidding me? The doctor advised against this. The judge approved of R driving to get P. R also filed a contempt charge against my husband for not paying for her gas to come to pick up their daughter. I couldn’t make this shit up.

This is just one of our stories that leaves us frustrated, pissed, and ready to keep fighting for P to have a good life with all of her parents.

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